Tony Martignetti

SPEAKERS

Tony Martignetti, Will Bachman

Will Bachman  00:02

Welcome to Unleashed. Unleashed is produced by Umbrex, you can visit us@umbrex.com. That’s umbrx.com. I’m your host will Bachman. And I’m happy to be here today with my friend Tony Martin Eddie, who is a coach, he runs inspired purpose coaching. He’s the author of a book climbing the right mountain. And you don’t want to go climb the wrong mountain in the peak in the wrong place, that would be a disaster. Tony, welcome to the show.

Tony Martignetti  00:33

Thank you so much for having me on the show. Well, I’m looking forward to our conversation.

Will Bachman  00:37

So several things I want to talk with you about today. The first is, I know that you’ve done some work around how a solopreneur independent professional can maintain the excitement in that energy going forward. You know, you can start with a bunch of energy running this practice. But you know, some people it’s possible to fall into a bit of a rut and you don’t have colleagues and serially or a career ladder, you know, you’re gonna have the same title for the rest of your life. So what are some of your thoughts around how to maintain that energy and keep it new? And keep it fresh?

Tony Martignetti  01:16

Yeah, I love this question. Because there’s something about this, which is, you know, you have this really, you know, powerful purpose that’s driving you into the work you’re doing. And, you know, you start going 100 miles an hour towards this thing that is really your, you know, quote, unquote, calling. But the reality is that sometimes you can become your own your worst boss, you start driving yourself so hard. And then before you know it, you’re feeling burnt out. And you’re feeling as though Hey, wouldn’t, why am I doing this? Why am I feeling so exhausted all the time? I should be loving this, this is my calling. And oftentimes, you know, we need to step away from the work that we’ve created, and, you know, check in with ourselves and say, hey, you know, what, is it that I really want right now? And what is it that I’m really driving towards? Are there things that I’m doing that are not really serving me any longer? Maybe they did, when I first started, maybe I just need to, like, do an assessment of, you know, the, the tools, the different parts of my business that I’ve started to work on, that may not be certainly not everything is, is to be thrown away, if you will, but there’s some things that need to take some time before they actually bear fruit, of course. But it’s more about your energetic feel, okay, I really enjoy doing this. And this is this part of the business is something that I want to continue to do. And then there’s some parts of it that you say, you know, what, this is really draining me of energy. And I need to stop doing that. I did that because I thought it was going to be a great thing. And you know, it’s really not serving.

Will Bachman  03:03

I love those points. So do an assessment of what maybe there’s lists everything that you are doing all your activities, and do a bit of a feel, is this thing giving me energy? Or is it draining energy, I might add to that. Some specific things is that, at least for me, you know, I’ve been independent now and running my own for not having a boss, let’s say, since 2008, through, you know, my own my own practice, and then, you know, leading Umbrex, and for me, part of it is having some kind of side project, something going on that isn’t necessarily the day to day. So whether that’s like a podcast like this where, you know, meeting new people every week, I love doing that. So it’s kind of not not directly tied to, you know, the day to day, but it’s getting to know new people getting exposed to ideas. So it could be creating content, it could be perhaps saying this year, I’m going to introduce a new service line, or I’m going to create a course creating a, you know, writing something or you know, creating a, you know, a sort of a productized offering. So, trying to always have something that is aside from just the standard straight up execution of your normal work, to know keep learning and that might be even just taking a course where are Hey, I’m going to learn how to, you know, program are going to learn how to use Adobe, or learn how to, you know, create websites or how to use ConvertKit or learning something doing something on the side so it’s always a little bit new and fresh.

Tony Martignetti  04:43

Exactly. I love that. You know, you brought something really beautiful into this conversation, which was just that is like you got to continue to evolve. You show up you add value to people, but you have to actually add value to yourself as long along the path of say So how am I keeping things interesting? And inspiring to really borrow a turn that I’m always thinking about is, you know, how am I making sure that I’m inspiring myself and keeping the fuel going so that I’m not getting, you know, kind of burnt out and stale. Because you this is a calling and not a career any longer Are these for the most part, a lot of people will come into this field, they feel as though into a field where they’re working for themselves, they feel as though it’s a calling. Yeah.

Will Bachman  05:35

It could be something like, even just creating a tool to use in your own practice. So if you’re a commercial due diligence consultant, you do a lot of that, for example, maybe you create templates, or, you know, so you can automate your work in the future. Or if you’re constantly doing, you know, interviewing experts make a list of all the possible questions one could ever ask an expert, you know, or if you’re, you know, a strategy consultant, take the last five strategy products you could did and make some sanitized sample deliverables or, you know, again, a template or a ghost, you know, some kind of tool, draw insights from what you’ve done. So constantly, it doesn’t have to be completely unrelated. It can be tied to your day to day, but just figuring out some way to make it new and fresh, and how can I get 10%? Better? Yeah, so

Tony Martignetti  06:29

there’s something you’re tapping into here, which I think is really interesting is that like, you know, when people start their business, there’s a sense of wanting to run so fast out of the gates and start everything and do everything. Problem is that you you burn yourself out in that process. But as you have, as you start to do things, and you see what works and what doesn’t, then you can, you know, after you’ve done it for a few years, or you know, a year or so, out of the gates, you want to start to reflect back on. Okay, now that I’ve accumulated some experience, I’ve accumulated some data points, let’s call it what can I do with those data points? Now what? How can I use this learning to move to the next thing I did before I was running now I’m going to I’m going to slowly walk with intention and create leverage with my business that allows me to now see how what I do, how the things that I do that make a difference are going to be the things I’m gonna focus on.

Will Bachman  07:30

I love that, you know, you can, you can use your conscious mind to try to answer those questions. A couple things that I like to also incorporate are, you know, Julia Cameron talks about in the artists way, she introduced these two concepts 2030 or 30 years ago. One is morning pages, right where the first thing after you get your tea or coffee in the morning, is to sit down before you’ve checked your email and right for 20 minutes, she recommends longhand, I’m not so into that. So I typed mine in Evernote but just completely unstructured writing, not a journal where you may never read that you’re not supposed to actually go back and read it. Just freeform writing whatever comes to top your head, I find that very powerful is way to access your unconscious and just ideas bubble up. And then the other thing she talks about is the artist date where you go on your own once a week you do something out of the ordinary, to just inspire your creativity. And it doesn’t have to be a museum doesn’t have to be going to the theater. It could be just going to a specialty you know us record store like a specialty like Stamp Shop or taking a walk in your neighborhood and looking for something very particular. Like I’m going to look for weeds and try to identify weeds in my neighborhood or try to find odd pebbles on the on the sidewalk, something to get outside of your day to day. And doing those two things can just help really open up new ideas that you wouldn’t even have expected.

Tony Martignetti  09:07

Yeah, I would love to hear your perspective.

Will Bachman  09:09

What you’re what beyond those two, what are some of your, you know, tips as a coach of how to tap into that, you know, inspiration.

Tony Martignetti  09:20

Yeah, I mean, one of the things that that I think is so important is to get out of your current environment because you know, one of the things that I’ve been meaning to especially now and I’ll share this idea that like my word of the year, I know some people cringe when they say that is that I want to tap into all this year all aw II love it because you can’t get the sense of awe sitting behind a desk. You have to get out of your environment and experience up by getting outside and that doesn’t mean you have to do like a nature free. But you know maybe it is going to museum maybe is just going for a Walk with some people who, you know, a good conversation can can create some sense of awe. But you want to experience something that has you believing in something bigger than yourself.

Will Bachman  10:12

Okay, Tony, so how have you experienced or so far this year? What have you done? Let’s hear it.

Tony Martignetti  10:18

Yeah, well, that’s great. You basically, because we’re at the start of a new year, and you know, my first sense of awe so far was to go to an glassblowing class, which I love glassblowing, it’s something that has been a passion of mine, but it’s just getting out and doing that was really powerful for me. And so that was huge. And last year, if you’d asked me about this, there was two things that came to mind. Immediately. I climbed Kilimanjaro

Will Bachman  10:48

in August. That’s amazing. So cool. Yeah.

Tony Martignetti  10:52

And for me, that was a big aha moment, because there was something about that experience, which was to, you know, which allowed me to breathe a little deeper, because I had to the oxygen level, so, so low up there that you need to really breathe deeply. But also, to really see the world from different perspective, to see how small I in the bigger scheme of things. In experiencing, I spent some time on safari while I was there, and spending time with the animals, it’s just like, it just feels so much more expansive. That’s a great example of awe and its best. So that was one of them. And the other one was, you know, actually how we met Renaissance weekend, well, I’m just having the chance to, to be with so many amazing people do who are able to really tap into their own voice and share their insights and, and really created a sense of hope that with people speaking their voices and sharing their own brilliance, we can make an impact on the world. So that doesn’t happen by just sitting behind my desk.

Will Bachman  12:05

Yeah. Those are some Kilimanjaro that is so cool. Most of us can’t go and do something like that every day, you know, if you want to experience all this weekend, it’s a bit of a trip. But I do have to ask as just a side note, what’s the fitness kind of build up requirements for that? I know people who do Everest, it’s like this major, you know, what, you know, super fitness kind of thing is Kilimanjaro the same way, were you? What did you have to do to prepare yourself for that?

Tony Martignetti  12:36

Yeah, so Everest is a is a very challenging situation, because it’s about 20, like 26,000 square square feet. But Kilimanjaro was 19,000. And so although that seems not not as much of a difference, but it makes a huge difference, every foot makes a difference. The physical requirements to train for doing Kilee was had more to do with getting used to breathing and, and having in wrestling along the way, and being able to go slow and deal with that. So I had a lot of climbs just tons of climbs locally, but I could never reach the altitude that I would need to be able to reach with Kilimanjaro. So I just had to continue to train myself to be able to to rest and take in oxygen while climbing. It had little to do, I shouldn’t say little. It wasn’t primarily about being most physically fit, and a lot to do with stamina.

Will Bachman  13:41

All right. Any other tips on experience? All? You know, what if we want to go out just even tomorrow? And, you know, we can’t fly to Africa tomorrow? And but what are some things just in a typical 24 hour day that we could do? Just to tap into that side of human experience a little bit more?

Tony Martignetti  14:05

Yeah, I mean, you mentioned the museums, and, you know, we talked about nature, these are all different things that anything like art, nature, or any thing that really allows us to get out of our normal routines, will allow us to tap into a sense of like, you know, what can I experience that is not currently in my, in my experience, right now, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a new experience. It just has to be something that allows you to notice something that you’re not currently noticing. You we want to expand our consciousness in the sense and I don’t mean to be so you know, hippie, like but you know, this idea of like, you know, being able to see something more than you’re currently seeing. And then when you come back to your to your world, you’re able to see that you feel like refreshed, reset, renewed and only you’re able to bring that freshness to the work you’re doing and And, you know, your creativity is then on higher alert, and you’re able to bring some a new spin to the work you’re doing.

Will Bachman  15:08

Yeah. Totally agree with that. Let’s talk about grounded leadership, I know that you’ve been working on some curricula around that working with your clients on it. What, first of all, what does that term mean? In your in your world?

Tony Martignetti  15:26

Yeah. So when I think about Granite leadership, these are leaders who are these are people who are coming from a place of knowing that we’re not going to be reactive in the moment, we’re just going to be a little more thoughtful in how we approach problems when they come at us. I mean, the world is constantly throwing us new things to react to. But when we can slow things down and be more proactive, and slow in our response, as opposed to immediately jumping and reacting to things. And being more Calm in the Chaos, as I like to say that what happens is we create a better tone for how other people can experience their workplace, and they can experience how to show up in their environment. It’s it’s a very regenerative form of leadership, because what happens is, by you showing up as the calm, thoughtful and more measured responder in the space, other people will mirror that and create that same sense of how they’ll work with their people. Now, this is not for everybody. But it is something that you can take a little parts of it with you and create a sense of how can I slow things down? How can I be more proactive? How can I not freak out in those moments when I’m feeling like all the things are coming all at once?

Will Bachman  16:52

Set up an example. You know, could be a fictionalized example sanitized and one of your clients have a situation where some triggering event happens. And ungrounded leadership would be, you know, response a but someone who’s grounded, what would they do? And what would response be look like? What would the grounded response look like? Give us an example?

Tony Martignetti  17:17

Yeah, I’ll say like a clinical trial comes back at you know, with some results come back and they say, Okay, the first thing we’re seeing is, you know, that there’s maybe some a client had poor reaction, or you know, there’s an adverse reaction. And the first thing that people would think is we gotta jump in and have response or cancel the trial, or figure out how to, you know, to put a stop to this immediately, in rushers rush in a press release out. And of course, you know, eventually you’re going to communicate, but the first thing you want to do is, is let people see okay, what is it that we’re learning from this? What is this really, you know, what are we reacting to? And the first thing we want to do is care about what’s, you know, how can we ensure that there’s no one’s life cycle, no life is at risk. So, a measured response is what is characteristic of a grounded leader, they will take in the information, not panic, not freak out, not see it as, oh, the world is falling around me instead say, what do we know? What do we not know? And how we’re going to use this information to move forward in the most intentional way.

Will Bachman  18:30

Strikes me a little bit as moving from what Daniel Kahneman talks about as system one to system two thinking moving from just pure, intuitive, instinctive response fight or flight to a more rational, calm measured. Approach?

Tony Martignetti  18:48

Absolutely, absolutely. It’s very much aligned with that thinking. And it’s, it just takes a lot, takes it even further to so many different parts of, of how people can show up differently, to be that calm person who helps other people feel more calm. So I think that’s the starting point.

Will Bachman  19:06

Okay, so let’s say, you know, you’re coaching and executives is fantastic. I definitely want to be more grounded. Tony, okay. How do I get there give me was my first exercise to I mean, yeah, sure, I get the endpoint. But how do I get there? I’m this reactive, you know, person. And what’s step one? What’s, what’s the exercise? How do they how do they start?

Tony Martignetti  19:30

Yeah, I think the first thing is that they have to be clear about what it is that they’re trying to what is the priorities that they’re trying to aim towards? Because when they know what their priorities are, and they know what their values that they’re grounded in, then they know that everything every decision they’re going to make, everything they’re going to be doing is based on those principles, those that purpose that they’ve that they’ve met, they’ve planned for themselves, and the values that they’ve set for themselves. So if they know those things that foundation, then it starts to become the ground rules. For them the foundation, I should say, for how things get done. Oftentimes people talk about this, a lot of the surface lip service to the idea of values, mission and purpose. But they, they don’t actually use it, and how they make decisions and how they bring themselves back to it. every decision, every action, every thing you do, should come back to, why are we doing this? You know, what should we be honoring when we make these decisions? And so knowing that is a starting point. Beyond that, there’s many other activities that walk people through that help to help them understand how to react in certain moments when they’re triggered, and also how to lead forward from there.

Will Bachman  20:53

Yeah, okay. So like, what’s an example? What’s an exercise that if we’re triggered, something’s like, Oh, my God, this is a disaster. What’s an exercise to help? Remember, yeah, to pause and breathe and reflect and ask questions. Yeah,

Tony Martignetti  21:10

yeah. And I love this one. This one is a classic, because it’s one that comes from mindfulness. But it’s actually very relevant to how people can show up on a day to day basis, in the moments when they’re triggered. So it’s the stock method. And the stop method is, it’s an acronym, it stands for, stop, take a breath. And in that breath, you’re basically taking the pause via you’re letting the action slow down, you’re actually giving yourself a moment to not react. But instead, to really take a moment to understand what’s going on. The the Oh in stop is observe, observe what emotions are coming up for you, and why those, those emotions are showing emotions or signals, they’re telling us something, if you’re feeling triggered, most likely, a lot of people in the room are also feeling triggered to about whatever situation that’s arising. So taking some time to just feel those emotions and understand them. And then once you’ve had that moment, to understand all those things, then you go to P, which is proceed. Now you can proceed to either do that, take the next step, and understand what you want to do to move forward. Or you decide to stop and not do anything, not react at all, and say, Okay, well, we’re not going to move forward here.

Will Bachman  22:41

One thing that I’ve learned from breaking this rule, but a rule that I’ve, I’ve, you know, put in place for myself is not to send ever an email, yes to anyone, if I’m annoyed, right. So if ever I’m annoyed, like, try to now avoid sending an email or you know, like, a little bit upset or whatever, right. And always try to make it a phone call instead. Because your if you send an email, when you’re annoyed, it’s likely to come across kind of snippy. And if you do a phone call, you can try to do a little bit more of the Stephen Covey aspect of seek to understand before being understood. So you can, you know, be a little bit more interactive not come across so, so roughly and, and whereas emails live forever. So

Tony Martignetti  23:36

that was out. Yeah. Yeah.

Will Bachman  23:40

What our I’m a little bit of a connoisseur of questions. My own executive coach, one thing that she asked me, right, typically, each session that we have is, Will What are you currently avoiding? So that’s a question that I love. And I don’t really love to get it. Because you know, it’s always annoying to answer it. It’s very revealing. But what are some of your favorite questions that you incorporate in your coaching practice? I love hearing about these and adding to my to my list of questions.

Tony Martignetti  24:17

Yeah, the first thing I think about is this idea of like, you know, when you look at the week ahead, what do you look forward to the most in the week ahead, which seems pretty straightforward. But if there’s nothing that comes to mind, then we’ve got a problem. Because now you’ve got a situation where you designed a weak, you’ve designed your weak but it doesn’t really have anything that really lights you up or has you motivated. And so you can do something you can action that number two. Another one is What are you current? What are you tolerating that you shouldn’t be tolerated.

Will Bachman  24:55

Ooh, okay.

Tony Martignetti  24:59

We tend to tolerate a Why and when we especially when it comes to teens, if you tolerate bad behavior, and people see that, and what happens is that persists and becomes a problem. And people then also start to pick up on and say this is, I can do this too. So the best thing you can do is identify the things you’re tolerating and say, I don’t want to tolerate that. That’s not what I want for my team. And I and address it.

Will Bachman  25:31

That is such a great question. It’s not I mean, it could be applied to people or behavior. But it could also apply to all sorts of things like just this, oh, I have these unanswered bills on my desk, or I have, you know, I kind of, I know, I have to update Windows or something, and it keeps giving me this pop up, and I just put it off, or there’s just all these things that they just drag at your attention when you don’t deal with them. So that’s a very revealing question. Okay. Give us some give me some more. I love this. This is great.

Tony Martignetti  26:03

Yeah. And the last thing is, what is what is one conversation that I’m putting off, that I really need to have? And I know, similar to your avoidance question, but I think the key thing is that there’s always a conversation that is waiting on the horizon. And we’re just so hesitant to have it because we know that on the other side of that is something amazing, or something that just has to happen so that you can move forward with your life in the do work.

Will Bachman  26:38

What sorts of answers do you get from your clients and a sanitized way? Of course, you could share like the typical sorts of responses or categories of responses to that avoided conversation or conversations that are waiting question.

Tony Martignetti  26:55

Yeah, I mean, oftentimes, there’s a conversation with somebody who is, you know, not doing very well, in terms of performance wise, and, you know, they’re hesitant to really kind of push them into that place of saying, hey, look, we need to either, you know, figure out what it’s going to take to get you on the right track or not. And, you know, that’s all it really is this conversation that they need to have, but they’re hesitant, because they, they know that this is gonna put them getting the client and this person into a very comfortable conversation. But ultimately, on the other side of that is a common understanding and understanding of each other. And ultimately, it’s the very least if the person who hears this and doesn’t react well to it, at least, then the knowledge can help them to take an action, that will put them in the right place. If that means moving on, then that’s fine. At least there’s that sense of not holding back and tolerating the things that are currently going on, especially when it’s attention that is felt by others in the team.

Will Bachman  28:09

Let’s talk about your book for a minute climbing the right mountain. What inspired you to write that? And what’s the what’s the message that you hope people are taking away from that book?

Tony Martignetti  28:20

Yeah, yeah. So the inspiration behind it was all the clients I was working with, they were all struggling with a lot of similar things were this feeling of like stuckness, or the, you know, this feeling of Gosh, I’ve been working so hard towards these goals. And I don’t know why I don’t feel more happy about it, or satisfied. And the more I heard these stories, I was reflecting on my own story of like, driving so hard to beat to get to the top of my mountain, if you will, my theoretical mountain and then looking across the horizon and saying, Gosh, like, I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here. And it’s not quite the view I wanted to see. And how can I feel more fulfilled? So the book is really, you know, was inspired by the stories, but also a desire to help other people think differently about their sense. And to find fulfillment and define success on their own terms to know that, you know, sure, it’s not to say don’t don’t strive to be a CEO of a company or do whatever you want to become. But do it for the right reasons. And do it because you because the impact that you want to have the feeling you want to experience. Don’t do it because this is what everyone else is doing. This is what society says success looks like. Right? Yeah, just define on your own terms.

Will Bachman  29:52

Maybe it’s the mountain that your parents told you to climb or that your friends in school like we’re all All climbing, so you figure I might as well follow them and climb that mountain. So what is an exercise or question that listeners can ask themselves? How do you get started on determining if you are in fact climbing the right mountain? Or what is the right mountain for you?

Tony Martignetti  30:17

Yeah. So first and foremost, question yourself, if you’re feeling a little stuck, you got to step away and ask yourself, why did it get started in the first place? Why did they get started on this path in the first place? Is that still true? Am I still driven by that same thing? Yeah. Because if it isn’t true still, then maybe it’s time to think differently.

Will Bachman  30:52

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you can, you know, try to tap into your childhood and say, when I was a kid, what were the things that I most enjoyed doing? Right? And am I still doing any of those things? So, and you’re kind of, or, you know, why am I climbing this mountain? Like, who would be satisfied and excited? You know, maybe who’s know there’s free way of framing the question I’ve seen is who’s step? With whom are you seeking status? Yeah, right. Yeah.

Tony Martignetti  31:31

So approval, approval approval? Yeah,

Will Bachman  31:34

with whom? Are you seeking approval? Right? Because there’s no like one mountain that everybody in the world is gonna be impressed by. So if you climb this mountain, like, whose approval would you expect to obtain? And is it do you still actually want the approval of those of those audience members? Yeah. Tony, tell us a little bit about your practice. Now, we’ve kind of danced around a little bit. But what sorts of clients do you serve? Tell us a bit about about your work.

Tony Martignetti  32:03

Sure. So I work a lot with people who are in technology, space, engage spaces, but you know, that’s just the main standard business, I do a lot of individual coaching, group coaching, team building, and workshops, the people I’m working with are usually directors and above, you know, for the most part, what I’m finding is that people who I work with have one thing in common, they’re feeling stuck, and they want something more, they want to have a more meaningful impact in the work they’re doing. And however that might manifest, it might be a sense of like, wanting to connect to a deeper sense of how they lead themselves and the people around them. Or it might show up in a way of like thinking to expand themselves into another way of of showing up, it might mean, you know, how can I create a new business? How can I think differently about, about ways that they can add value to the world at large?

Will Bachman  33:10

Where do most of your client just come from? Is it mostly referral base at this point, you have an active sort of content engine that has inbound, you know, requests? Or how have you been growing your practice?

Tony Martignetti  33:24

Yeah, I mean, a lot of it has come from referrals, you know, then that’s the beauty of being, you know, when you get to know people, and they get to experience your business, you know, then what happens is they really want to be more, you know, bring more people into the, into the field, if you will. But I think the other part of this is really be getting out there and speaking and doing a lot of writing. And just getting making sure people resonate with what you have to say next. The key thing is that if people are aligned with what your voice is saying, they’re coming to you, and as opposed to you having to go out and hunt.

Will Bachman  34:06

Tony, for listeners that do want to follow up with you doing some speaking right now, maybe someone’s interested, where would you point people online, if someone wants to follow up, see some of your writing and maybe reach out?

Tony Martignetti  34:19

Absolutely. The best place for them to find me is on inspired purpose coach.com. I have an assessment there, you can take if you’d like to get an idea of where you are now and where you’d like to go. And I also have a lot of blogs, articles that you can check out there. And the other place you can find me is at on LinkedIn. That’s where I’m most prominently showing up in social media. So you can find me at Tony Martin.

Will Bachman  34:45

So we will include those two links in the show notes. Tony, thank you so much for joining today. I really enjoyed the conversation.

Tony Martignetti  34:55

So you hear well, great to see you. Great to hear from you.